Living on the East Coast, right by Washington, D.C., I’ve grown up with the grind in mind. The messages to work hard and manifest the “American Dream” have been ingrained in me since I set foot in this country as a young girl. It worked for me. Working hard in school and in building my career opened so many doors for me and allowed me opportunities to experience life in ways I never would have imagined had I stayed in the Philippines. I’ve been fortunate enough to travel the world through work, but I reached a point in my life where I wanted to experience life on my own terms. I wanted to see the world without having to worry about “delivering value” to my clients. I enjoyed that time in my life, but now, I want to experience a city with no strings attached. I’ve been able to do that, and with each new city I’ve visited recently, I’ve felt a new energy, and it’s brought out a different side of me.

Key West

If there’s one place that’s close to my heart and that I’ve visited on many occasions, it’s the Conch Republic. I start here because it’s the place where I feel most myself. In D.C., especially in the careers and organizations I’ve found myself in, there’s certainly an expected uniform of sorts– blue, pressed and fitted suits and beige blouses and button-ups. I imagine it’s intended to convey a sense of professionalism and seriousness. There’s a sense of conformity because deviating too far from the norm may raise eyebrows and pose risks. In Key West, I shed that uniform and wear bright bikinis and crop tops. There’s no judgement anywhere because everyone is wearing or not wearing whatever they feel most comfortable in. There isn’t that pressure to be modest or moral in fear of judgment that’s clearly present around the DC area. In Key West, I ride around to piers, by beaches, and quaint little shops on a bicycle– just a basic bicycle, not even an electric-powered one to get to places faster or one with gears to prove how athletic I am (which I’m not). It’s about cruisin’ and enjoying the breeze, feeling the sun on my skin rather than worrying about whether I’m properly protecting myself from it or aging faster as a result of it. I can let go; I can just be. That’s probably the Aquarius rising in me.

Amsterdam

I’m still a Capricorn sun, though. Amsterdam brings out the intellectual and curious side of me, the free thinker who enjoys a deep conversation about life at a corner cafe with a sammie. In Amsterdam, I feel more liberated mentally. I can question life, meaning, purpose, and others are naturally doing the same. Back at home, there’s this path through college, a respectable career, marriage, owning a home, having kids, and being prepared for retirement. Amsterdam allows me to challenge the assumption that there’s only one definition of success or one path to happiness. At the same time, there’s also order. Something about all the bikes whizzing by in a certain flow. I feel stable in the structure without feeling restricted.

Paris

This is a city that feels like love to me. Not the kind you find after kissing a bunch of frogs on dating apps to finally meet someone you can live the life mentioned above with. Paris feels like romance. It brings out the part of me that can savor each morsel of my food, live in the moment, and speak a language that drips with sexiness. In Paris, I feel like my most feminine self. My eyes flutter differently, and my eye contact comfortably lingers longer. I can speak with my body, whereas back home I have to be careful not to send the wrong signals. In Paris, I’m not afraid to feel good and exude that. 

Dublin

This city is just fun. The pubs had me feeling like Rose dancing freely with Jack in dizzying circles as they chugged big beers on the Titanic. Drinking is both stigmatized and societally expected back home. In Dublin, it’s just a given and a reward. People work hard and go through so much, so each afternoon opens the door to a celebration with other people who just want to sing and dance freely at a random bar. Then, you wake up to a proper English breakfast, followed by many meals made of potatoes.

Montreal

Lastly, and most recently, I visited Montreal. It kind of brought elements of each of these cities together. I got to practice my French in pubs while wandering around, appreciating the architecture. The buildings were beautiful, both classic and modern, perfectly juxtaposed by one another. The people were kind and didn’t judge when I had no idea what they were saying after we exchanged bonjour. Each day, I wore long flowing dresses and walked miles and miles (or kilometers?) without being set on a final destination. Then, when my feet were sore, there was a boat ride that offered a view of the skyline and life on the water. It was the perfect balance of so many things and, in being so, centered me.

There’s certainly more to these cities than what I’ve described, but in my recent trips, these are the elements they’ve brought out in me. What’s nice is that through these adventures, I didn’t once have to think about my to-do list, a deliverable, or action item. I ventured out to discover a new city each time, but came back having found a different part of me.

Where have you ventured to lately and what side of you did it bring out?