First, I’ll put the disclaimer out there that these are my reflections about Taoist principles and by no means am I saying that this is the way. As Lao Tzu, who is attributed to the Tao Te Ching wrote, “The Tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao.” That is, to try to articulate this Eastern spiritual philosophy is not the same thing as the “Tao” itself because although we can discuss it as a concept, it’s something that we have to personally experience to truly understand. If that’s still a little confusing, maybe our favorite honey-loving bear can explain it better in the Tao of Pooh. 

Doing nothing

Taoists actually have a name for doing nothing: wu-wei. During these times of quarantine, we may have different associations with doing nothing. I’ve spent a lot of time eating, drinking, watching television, and scrolling through social media. I’m even on the verge of the ultimate form of doing nothing as I consider downloading Tik Tok. Prior to this pandemic, I’ve done this type of nothing mostly on the weekends because my weekdays are all about doing something: working. Working day in and day out, working on a million different things at once and working on how to be better at working. As Rihanna put it, work, work work, work, work. 

I have to say that I lost myself a bit in all that work, which is not uncommon for management consultants. When you are not only ambitious but you’re surrounded by other people who are also ambitious, so much so that they’re even competitive about who’s more ambitious, you may see a lot of productivity but it’s often at the expense of individual well-being in a non-material sense. Maybe that’s an American mindset more so than just a consulting one. I’m hoping that by revisiting one of the philosophies that resonated with me the most during the peak of my personal development in college, I can find myself a bit more again. Here’s the excerpt from the Tao Te Ching that triggered that for me this week:

Those who stand on tiptoes do not stand firmly.

Those who rush ahead don’t get very far.

Those who try to outshine others dim their own light. 

Trying to Stop Trying

I’m the type of person that gets anxiety over a vision test because I don’t want to do poorly on it. I strain my eyes to see the letters without the aid of my contacts and I wonder whether I got it right or wrong. I know I don’t have 20/20 vision but if I’m going to do something, I want to do it to the best of my ability because I am all about living my virtuous life in the spirit of continuous improvement so that I’m always living in accordance with excellence. Thanks, Aristotle. Trying to “pass” a vision test defeats the whole purpose though because if my optometrist doesn’t have a true sense of what I can and can’t see, he can’t prescribe me the appropriate prescription for my lenses. Ultimately, it means that in trying to see, I can’t fully see at all. Damn, that’s so deep.

Consulting is all about making recommendations for what managers and executives should do to solve the challenges they face as an organization. In a sense, I have to be able to provide actionable guidance on what should yield specific results and do so in a way that increases the probability of a specific outcome. It’s the same approach I take on my life. When I want something in my life, whether it’s a certain income, an ideal weight, the optimal vacay experience, I get out my spreadsheet or to-do list, and I plan the hell out of it. This works in most cases because I’ve become really good at planning my life in a way that helps me to achieve certain goals, but there seem to be other things I want in my life that aren’t as easily achievable, like balance, complete relaxation, and peace of mind. My body is quick to tell me when these things are out of sorts but when I’m working, it’s so easy to ignore signals of distress.

In this time of solitude, I’ve been able to bring it back to my breath because by focusing on my breath, I spend less time reflecting on what may have happened today or yesterday that was less than ideal or didn’t go as planned. My breath also keeps me from worrying about the future and running endless scenarios in my head about how something could and should go and what my action plan would be given those various permutations. In the here and now, I know that everything is okay. It brings to mind a mantra I learned from my recent self-hypnosis guide: “I am safe. I am calm. I’m where I choose to be.” In this moment, I am so grateful for my health, my shelter, and the day ahead of me, which can bring so much joy if I allow it to do so. And, that’s the key, to allow it. It is another way to translate wu-wei: non-doing. Trying to control all the things that are beyond my control and worrying about it ad nauseum will not change things. By riding this wave and letting it take its course, rather than trying to dominate the ocean which is much more powerful than I am, I’ll be at one with it. David Foster Wallace put it beautifully in his little story:

There are these two young fish swimming along, and they happen to meet an older fish swimming the other way, who nods at them and says, “Morning, boys, how’s the water?” And the two young fish swim on for a bit, and then eventually one of them looks over at the other and goes, “What the hell is water?”

Wallace reminds us that “this is water, this is water.” It’s all water, baby. 

What are you doing and not doing right now?