Sometimes you see it coming, other times you don’t. But when a family member passes, it almost always triggers a state of deep reflection about life, its meaning and purpose, and its transcience. I’ve never really needed a major life event to prompt me to think deeply, but just recently, in the face of a family member’s unexpected death and in the teary eyes of all of those who loved him, it made me think about my life and brought me back to the basics of the Buddhist principles of good word, good thought, and good deed.

Funerals, especially in my Filipino culture, bring families together. It had been a while since I had seen a few of the cousins I grew up with when I was young. Some were celebrating birthdays this week, others were with child, many of them were running around after their little ones, and then there were those like me, not really at any of life’s big milestones, just living my everyday life.

Lately, life for me has been focused on my work. I’ve traveled all over the world, experienced profound growth professionally and personally, and have been given opportunities to build a company, a team, and a legacy. Being in management consulting, if you let it carry you in its traditional ways, you can get caught up in the money, the deception, and the indulgent, often cold lifestyle. Luckily for me, I’ve had guidance along the way to direct me towards a kinder, whole-hearted, and very human approach to this type of work, but it doesn’t mean the pull towards the more superficial and dog-eat-dog mindset doesn’t still give a little tug every now then.

When I think about how I want to live and work, along with what I want to strive towards, abundance and continuous growth, learning, and development always come to mind. Beyond my conceptual ambitions though, the foundation of my daily practice is love, care, and support for myself, those closest to me including family and friends, my community, and ultimately the world. I want to strengthen and expand this compassion and the “how” is through good thought, good words, and good deeds, as taught by the Buddha and in more modern times, the Dalai Lama.

Good Thought

It always starts here because your thoughts are what determine your focus. Your focus is where your energy goes. Your energy is what you manifest. This could mean manifesting your micro-expressions that influence your every day interactions and relationships, to the things you attract into your life like life-changing people, experiences, and adventures. I have to be mindful of my thoughts and how they affect the energy around me. I will meditate more.

Good Word

Word have vibrations as well. There are those with good vibes, bad vibes, and everything in between. Words also bring us closer to others in our relationships or they tear us apart. Improving my ability to communicate and facilitate meaningful conversations will help me to strengthen the relationship I have with those who come into my life. I will put more effort towards effective communication.

Good Deed

When what you do is in alignment with what you say and what you think, there’s this authenticity and life force that flows through you. When I’m being selfish and thinking only of what will benefit me, I’m never satisfied and can be left with a sense of emptiness and lack of fulfillment. When I help others through tough times or to get closer to what they need and want in life, I feel truly happy. I will serve those around me and find ways to really see them, appreciate them, and support them.

My mom was saying that in the Philippines, unlike here in America, funerals are full of food, drinks, gambling, laughter, and bonding with those who the individual who passed through brought together in their lives. It reminds me a lot of my wedding when all the people I loved were in one room celebrating our life and love. My heart was so full. When my time comes, I hope that my life has brought together good people, who continue to practice the principles of good thought, good word, and good deed, carrying forth the spirit of peace, love, and compassion to all living beings.

How mindful are you of your thoughts, words, and deeds?